OF COACHES AND TRAINERS

I notice with a great deal of alarm and amusement two terms hugely in vogue today-coach and trainer...Life coach, motivation trainer etc...and the scary “workshops” they first attend and then hurl them on a unsuspecting target ,index finger pointed with “thou shalt not...”admonishments.

Why, there are even set ups AWARDING certificates to that effect!First the validity of such certifications and their qualifications in making such AWARDS is a huge issue.SELF CERTIFICATION is again an eyebrow raiser.

I speak on life issues too ..Been doing it for past 20 to 25 years...and whenever I feel extra smart ,life provides me with a perfect ‘’foot on the banana skin moment’’...humbled I proceed.

So, I'd rather describe myself as a SPEAKER or a Counsellor -at -large.Its not merely semantics mind you.It has to do with the attitude which is inculcated.I’d rather that it was motivational speaker or a life educator.What is the difference? Remember 3 idiots?.The film.Where the character played by Aamir Khan tells the Principal how to teach-the 30 second race to define PRERAJUALISATION and FARHANITRATE?What is said there?:चाबुक के डर से तो शेर भी उछल कर स्टूल पर बैठना सीख जाता है.पर उसे well trained कहते हैं,well educated नही.My concern is that what is being taught by these undoubtedly well intentioned “trainers “and “coaches” is a set of defense and coping mechanisms.A set of reactions to a set of situations.BUT HOWSOEVER COMPREHENSIVE AND MULTIFARIOUS these “LIFE FORMULAE” are ,they shall be all adviced to remember that life is not a set of quadratic equations nor is it a ladder going straight up.

Life is a organic statement of universe. LIFE GROWS-LIKE A TREE.The way it will grow,the circumstances and weather it will encounter,no botanist dare predict that.Nor should he be able to.The beauty of life, in part, lies in the undefined and unpredictable, unfathomables it shall encounter en route.Hence each one of us is UNIQUE AND SPECIAL in his or her own way.That is what makes life liveable.Tell me the life grammar which can define love?Tell me the infallible coping mechanisms for loneliness?Tell me why is it that ‘falling in love' is more a matter of geography than chemistry? I can add a million Q’s.And 20 “life coaches” will give me 21 answers.

HOW WOULD I ANSWER?Well please note a wicked smile on my face.I can...But some other place ,some other time.

So what is the epilogue for all this gyan that I am giving?

In my innumerable sessions with trainee(ha ha ha) officers I keep on saying that even if TRAINING is to be imparted....As contrasted to EDUCATING -it should almost fully be DESCRIPTIVE instead of PRESCRIPTIVE.My favorite concept of educating arises from title of a book written by Stephen Hawking years and years ago about the origin of universe;’’THE THEORY OF EVERYTHING''.

This then is the task for the educators (and trainers and coaches!):teach them  the theory of things...Empirical as well as a priori...Draw on actual incidents from life.AND in the end tell them:I can’t live your life nor your dreams.GO AND DISCOVER YOUR OWN TRUTH.THE TOOLS I HAVE PROVIDED TOO ARE NOT EXHAUSTIVE.BUT THEY WILL GIVE YOU AN INITIAL ANCHOR,a basic reference point.Add to them,subtract from them.LEARN AND NEVER STOP LEARNING.

BECAUSE IN LIFE,JOURNEY IS THE DESTINATION.

Respect and Remember

Interacting with a comrade I got reminded of an old poem of my childhood days.And a  dialogue from Bachchan sir's Baghbaan"log aksar mohabbat karte hain.Lekin jitni baar usko kehna chahiye ,kehte nahi"
Ditto with all valuable relationships we have.If you value someone's concern,love,friendship...Show it..You are lucky ..Because there are many who don't have any.Here is the poem.

AROUND THE CORNER
Charles Hanson Towne

Around the corner I have a friend,
In this great city that has no end;

Yet the days go by and weeks rush on,
And before I know it, a year is gone,

And I see my old friend's face,
For life is a swift and terrible race.

He knows I like him just as well
As in the days when I rang his bell.
And he rang mine.

We were younger then,
And now we are busy, tired men;
Tired with playing a foolish game,
Tired with trying to make a name.

"Tomorrow," I say, "I will call on Jim
Just to show that I'm thinking of him."

But tomorrow comes–and tomorrow goes,
And the distance between us grows and grows.

Around the corner!–yet miles away…
"Here's a telegram sir, Jim died today."

And that's what we get, and deserve in the end.
Around the corner, a vanished friend.