JUDGE

 

UNIVERSAL ADVICE:DONT JUDGE IN A RELATIONSHIP IF YOU WANT TO BE HAPPY.

Sorry.

Dont agree.

My prescription would be:

"Judge.But dont be judgmental."

This is not just semantics.Its a huge interaction health tool.

Judgmental: "tending to form opinions too quickly, esp. when disapproving of someone or something"

Judge(Merriam Webster):

transitive verb

1: to form an opinion about through careful weighing of evidence and testing of premises

2: to form an estimate or evaluation of

3:to determine or pronounce after inquiry and deliberation

This malice of " judge not that ye be judged"of biblical origins we need to get rid of.

Judge and be prepared to be judged.

Just..don't be judgmental.

there is no choice between judging and not judging.Judging is inescapable.To say :dont judge"is also a judgement.

In fact its worse.It is an arbitrary prescription of a proscription.Just like a despotic commandment.

its judgmental.

My view.

p.s.Ayn Rand"Atlas Shrugged"

Buy it.Read it.

You might yet be saved.

Pursue your dreams

 

                            

A great story I read somewhere.

 

A Rabbit entered a shop and asked: "Do you have carrots?".

Owner says "no we don't have."

 

The next day the rabbit comes to the shop and asks again “do you have carrots?" Owner replies angrily, "I said we don't have carrots.

 

The following day the rabbit comes to the shop and asks again, "Do you have carrots?"

Shopkeeper says angrily, "I said we don't have carrots, if you come back again asking, I am gonna screw a nail in your head with a hammer!"

 

 The next day the rabbit comes yet again and asks this time , "Do you have a hammer?" Shopkeeper replies, "NO."

 

Rabbit asks again "What about nails?" Owner says  "NO."

 

Then the rabbit calmly asks, "Do you have carrots?"

 

Moral of the story:

Don't let the devil scare you, he doesn't have anything.

Just pursue your dreams.

RESILIENCE

 

Resilience in fact is THE CHARACTERITIC/attribute to have in all aspects of life.

Often TOLERANCE is confused with resilience.

We are good tolerators.Resilience is ability to WITHSTAND and COUNTER.Tolerance is ABILITY TO ACCEPT.

Resilience is a very very rare quality and is found equally rarely.

It is toughness.

In physics resilience is defined as"the power or ability of a material to return to its original form, position, etc., after being bent, compressed  ;elasticity."     

 Resilience is not a trampoline, where you’re down one moment and up the next. It’s more like climbing a mountain without a trail map.Being resilient does not mean that people don’t experience stress, emotional upheaval, and suffering. Some people equate resilience with mental toughness only, but demonstrating resilience also includes working through emotional pain and suffering.

There is a psychological model of resilience:

The 7 Cs resilience model- was developed by pediatrician Ken Ginsberg, MD, to help children and adolescents build resilience.

Learning competence,

 confidence,

 connection,

 character,

contribution,

coping, and

control

 is how Ginsberg says we can build inner strength and utilize outside resources — regardless of age.

ACK:MULTIPLE .INCLUDING MODEST INPUTS FROM SELF

A PERSPECTIVE ON MISFORTUNE.

 

I hear a lot of why me's and complaints about the global pandemic sweeping the world.

Imagine if you were born in the year 1900. On your 14th birthday, World War I starts, and ends on your 18th birthday. 22 million people perish in that war. Later in the year, a Spanish Flu epidemic hits the planet and runs until your 20th birthday. 50 million people die from it in those two years. On your 29th birthday, the Great Depression begins. Unemployment hits 25%, the World GDP drops 27%. That runs until you are 33. The country nearly collapses along with the world economy. When you turn 39, World War II starts. On your 41st birthday, the United States is fully pulled into WWII. Between your 39th and 45th birthday, 75 million people perish in the war. At 50, the Korean War starts. 5 million perish. At 55 the Vietnam War begins and doesn’t end for 20 years. 4 million people perish in that conflict. On your 62nd birthday you have the Cuban Missile Crisis, a tipping point in the Cold War. When you turn 75, the Vietnam War finally ends.There are many who survived through everything listed above.

And what happened in between?

Donald Bradman happened to cricket .India became independent.They win 8 gold medals consecutively in Olympic hockey,one in Berlin before Adolf Hitler.Talking movies are born.So is television.Airplanes happen.So does Charlie Chaplin.Medical inventions change life forever.Beatles rock the planet.Man goes to moon.And on and on and on.Life rocked and thrived inspire of tragedies.

Life is what happens in between your plans.And perspective is what it teaches us.
Tragedies are in the gene code of the world.
Have perspective.

 

 

:Modified from Anonymous

GENDER DISCRIMINATION,REVERSE GENDER DISCRIMINATION AND THE GENDER CARD :A CLASSIC CONFLICT

 1.None would deny oppression and subjugation of women throughout centuries of existence.From denial of franchise to denial of basic human rights and dignified human existence.This started changing a bit in 70s and picked pace with the new millennium.Then reverse gender discrimination started in urban milieu.From ‘’settling scores’’ via #me too and abuse of IPC provisions to threat of Vishakha guidelines to promulgation of laws(below)a reverse harassment channel got created.That is when terms like GENDER CARD came into existence.See a film like Aitraaz starring Kareena Kapoor and better still see Michael Douglas ,Demi Moore starrer ”Disclosure” based on book of same name by Michael Crichton.

2.As a result sexual harassment or gender discrimination charge became a tool of harassment in the hands of a few rather than a genuine voice of protest against violation of a woman.The movement stood hijacked by the elite few leaving the genuinely harassed women still looking for justice.If you see bottom part  of this write up you will wonder how in earth can a woman get harassed in face of such strong legal structure?

3.But it’s a story of misapplication of law ,non application of law and fuelled by some pampered kids who have a view of women as their property backed up by generations of prejudice and oppression.

4.The tragedy is that culprits by and large remain unpunished,the real victims among women wait in vain for justice ,candle light drawing room vigilante movements by elite, anger men,create the bogey which is sometimes real,of the gender card and posts like these evoke the ire of sometimes genuine and sometimes warped up men who ride on their misplaced perceptions to create a unbridgeable dichotomy.

5.Reverse tragedy which then happened was that men too started abusing the gender card defence by levying the charge even while the woman stood genuinely harassed.This became their warped defence.

6.It became and continues to remain a me too vs gender card war.This,then,is the long and short of it,and TRUTH AND JUSTICE  became the casualties.

7.LAWS FOR PROTECTION OF WOMEN(INDIAN PENAL CODE and Allied Laws)

 

1.S 294 IPC:   SINGING LEWD SONGS AND OBSCENE ACTS DIRECTED AT WOMEN IN PUBLIC SPACE

2.s 354 IPC: ASSAULT OR CRIMINAL FORCE TO WOMAN WITH INTENT TO OUTRAGE HER MODESTY

2A.S 354(A)IPC:THE FAMOUS ‘’NO MEANS NO’’LAW.DEMANDING PHYSICAL FAVORS DESPITE REACTION OF DISINTEREST.ALLIED SECTION 503 THREAT TO HARM.

3.S 354(C)IPC: VOYEURISM & MORPHING PICTURES

4..S 354(D)IPC: STALKING

5.S 509 IPC: WORD ,GESTURE OR ACT INTENDED TO INSULT THE MODESTY OF A WOMAN

6.SEXUAL HARRASMENT FOR WOMEN AT WORKPLACE ACT,2013(POSH ACT).This was the follow up law resulting from "Vishaka and others V. State of Rajasthan and others.(AIR 1997 SC 3011)" 

7.S 67 OF I.T. ACT :HARASSING WOMEN ON DIGITAL MEDIA

 

8.When posts like these are reacted to,one need to see where it is coming from,and why.Men ,on one hand,cannot give up their despicable and hypocritical sense of superiority,and on the other the good ones are either victims of a gender card or too cautious to let their guard down and be themselves.Centuries of subjugation, patriarchal family set up fuels these attitudes .Truth is if you take a balanced view setting aside prejudices on either side,men are ,the weaker sex and the insecure sex.नारी शक्ति भी है और जननी भी।

9.still mamma's boys who haven't shed their mental diaper of fake superiority based solely on physical power.Those of us who are worthy enough should command attention.Rest are to be confined to dustbin of history or shown their place lawfully.

TRUE FRIEND

 

A great story about value of a true friend I read somewhere:

Many years ago, after I got married I was sitting on a couch on a hot, humid day, sipping frozen juice during a visit to my father.

 

As I talked about adult life, marriage, responsibilities, and obligations, my father thoughtfully stirred the ice cubes in his glass and cast a clear, sober look at me.

 

"Never forget your friends," he advised, "they will become more important as you get older."

 

"Regardless of how much you love your family and the children you happen to have, you will always need friends.

 

Remember to go out with them occasionally, do activities with them, call them ..."

 

"What strange advice!" I Thought. "I just entered the married world, I am an adult and surely my wife and the family that we will start will be everything I need to make sense of my life."

 

Yet I obeyed him; Kept in touch with my friends and annually increased their number. Over the years, I became aware that my father knew what he was talking about.

 

In as much as time and nature carry out their designs and mysteries on a man, friends were the bulwarks of his life.

 

After 50 years of life, here is what I learned:

 

Time passes.

Life goes on.

The distance separates.

Children grow up.

 

Children cease to be children and become independent.

 

And to the parents it breaks the heart but the children are separated of the parents.

 

Jobs come and go.

 

Illusions, desires, attraction, sex ... weaken.

 

People do not do what they should do.

 

The heart breaks.

The parents die.

Colleagues forget the favors.

The races are over.

 

When we started this adventure called LIFE, we did not know of the incredible joys or sorrows that were ahead.

But, true friends are always there, no matter how long or how many miles they are.

 

A TRUE friend is never more distant than the reach of a need, barring you, intervening in your favor, waiting for you with open arms or blessing your life.

FORGIVE THE BLAME

 

Everything you blame, you’re stuck with. Bless it. Wish it well. Wish it its own freedom, and it will be very powerful in the way that it will not come back to you. If you don’t forgive it, if you don’t bless it, if you don’t wish it well, the energy will just be magnetically drawn back to you because it’s looking for resolution. All negative energy that we’ve inherited, it’s there because it’s looking for resolution.

—Adyashanti

THE EAGLE FLIES ALONE

 

When I was born the seed was sown

I will not obey, my life is my own

Battle rows, which do enslave me

Exposed lies that enrage me

 

I don't believe in heaven, I don't believe in hell

Never joined the herd, could not adjust well

Slave and master, it's not for me

I choose my own path, set myself free

 

I, I go my own way

I swim against the stream

Forever I will fight the powers that be

The eagle flies alone

 

Reject the system that dictates the norm

This world is full of lies and deceit

I ask my own betrayal, cut so deep

Suffered defeat only to rise again

 

I, I go my own way

I swim against the stream

Forever I will fight the powers that be

 

The eagle flies alone.

 

:Michael Amott

 

The phrase ‘’the eagle flies alone only sheep walk in herds’’is actually a Polish proverb which is an encouragement to be your truest self.Its okay to make your own path and not be regulated by herd mentality.