The term ‘love’evokes images and confusions.Talking about ISHQ WALA LOVE.Someone asked me recently at a life concepts session ki aapki nazar mein what is TRUE LOVE?For starters I never knew love could be untrue as well! But cynicism and witticism apart ,it got me thinking.I could not answer the lady at that time,just said watch my blog.Attempting an answer.
Before I embark on TRUE part if we can have a common conceptual understanding of what (romantic)love is: to me,its a simple matter of physics, chemistry and geography.Khushwant Singh sir,if I recall correctly, famously said once(men would love this)’’love is temporary,lust is permanent’’!Taking it to be a hyperbole,I just extract the physical intimacy part from it and add to it the emotional connect part.Throw in a bit of jealousy(‘’one who is not jealous,is not in love’’)and possessiveness and I guess we basically understand this is what love(more or less) is all about.You may add value coalescence,commitment and loyalty,though ,to me these come bundled with emotional connect.
Geography ,some may find to be an intriguing addition.TO me love is also a matter of where you are physically, and who do you get to meet.Many a time,don’t we(if we are hurt in love specially)say on meeting and knowing someone later(after we are ‘’committed’’) ‘’how I wish I had met him/her before’’.In its virulent form such anticipation may give rise to inability to get committed.I understand we call it,FOBO:fear of better options.To me its a base thought if consumed raw.Since when did love became a matter of option?I would hate to be someone’s option.I’d be someone’s choice,thank you.But then,I digress.Coming back to our issue.Love is a matter then of physics,chemistry and geography.
But this love fails.It hurts.It goes.(Remember the old song:’’where does(all the) love go,when its gone?’’.Hear the Ginger Boatwright or Janie Fricke version.).Why?Whatever happened to ‘’and they lived happily ever after’’? Where is the’’prince on the white charger and damsel in distress story’’?Guess it got confined to the M &B books era.
I was told that love went because it wasn’t true...by the same question poser.But stumped she was about which love was true.So was I.Guess my Eureka moment came thereafter.The TRUE part of ‘’true love’’ I think is this:
T= TRUST
R=RESPECT
U=UNDERSTANDING
E=EMPATHY`
This ,mi lady in question,is what true is...not only in love ...but in any relationship.Test the cases of failed love.At the bottom you will find one or more of these ingredients missing.[The copyright to this acronyming is entirely mine.Giving it for patent!]
Truth is that love ,by itself,is never enough.It wasn't meant to be.Love,by definition is an incomplete concept.That is why it goes.To be eternal,for it to create a "real,happily ever after story",it has to be TRUE.
So -where does love go,when its gone?
Before I embark on TRUE part if we can have a common conceptual understanding of what (romantic)love is: to me,its a simple matter of physics, chemistry and geography.Khushwant Singh sir,if I recall correctly, famously said once(men would love this)’’love is temporary,lust is permanent’’!Taking it to be a hyperbole,I just extract the physical intimacy part from it and add to it the emotional connect part.Throw in a bit of jealousy(‘’one who is not jealous,is not in love’’)and possessiveness and I guess we basically understand this is what love(more or less) is all about.You may add value coalescence,commitment and loyalty,though ,to me these come bundled with emotional connect.
Geography ,some may find to be an intriguing addition.TO me love is also a matter of where you are physically, and who do you get to meet.Many a time,don’t we(if we are hurt in love specially)say on meeting and knowing someone later(after we are ‘’committed’’) ‘’how I wish I had met him/her before’’.In its virulent form such anticipation may give rise to inability to get committed.I understand we call it,FOBO:fear of better options.To me its a base thought if consumed raw.Since when did love became a matter of option?I would hate to be someone’s option.I’d be someone’s choice,thank you.But then,I digress.Coming back to our issue.Love is a matter then of physics,chemistry and geography.
But this love fails.It hurts.It goes.(Remember the old song:’’where does(all the) love go,when its gone?’’.Hear the Ginger Boatwright or Janie Fricke version.).Why?Whatever happened to ‘’and they lived happily ever after’’? Where is the’’prince on the white charger and damsel in distress story’’?Guess it got confined to the M &B books era.
I was told that love went because it wasn’t true...by the same question poser.But stumped she was about which love was true.So was I.Guess my Eureka moment came thereafter.The TRUE part of ‘’true love’’ I think is this:
T= TRUST
R=RESPECT
U=UNDERSTANDING
E=EMPATHY`
This ,mi lady in question,is what true is...not only in love ...but in any relationship.Test the cases of failed love.At the bottom you will find one or more of these ingredients missing.[The copyright to this acronyming is entirely mine.Giving it for patent!]
Truth is that love ,by itself,is never enough.It wasn't meant to be.Love,by definition is an incomplete concept.That is why it goes.To be eternal,for it to create a "real,happily ever after story",it has to be TRUE.
So -where does love go,when its gone?
