JUDGE

 

UNIVERSAL ADVICE:DONT JUDGE IN A RELATIONSHIP IF YOU WANT TO BE HAPPY.

Sorry.

Dont agree.

My prescription would be:

"Judge.But dont be judgmental."

This is not just semantics.Its a huge interaction health tool.

Judgmental: "tending to form opinions too quickly, esp. when disapproving of someone or something"

Judge(Merriam Webster):

transitive verb

1: to form an opinion about through careful weighing of evidence and testing of premises

2: to form an estimate or evaluation of

3:to determine or pronounce after inquiry and deliberation

This malice of " judge not that ye be judged"of biblical origins we need to get rid of.

Judge and be prepared to be judged.

Just..don't be judgmental.

there is no choice between judging and not judging.Judging is inescapable.To say :dont judge"is also a judgement.

In fact its worse.It is an arbitrary prescription of a proscription.Just like a despotic commandment.

its judgmental.

My view.

p.s.Ayn Rand"Atlas Shrugged"

Buy it.Read it.

You might yet be saved.

Pursue your dreams

 

                            

A great story I read somewhere.

 

A Rabbit entered a shop and asked: "Do you have carrots?".

Owner says "no we don't have."

 

The next day the rabbit comes to the shop and asks again “do you have carrots?" Owner replies angrily, "I said we don't have carrots.

 

The following day the rabbit comes to the shop and asks again, "Do you have carrots?"

Shopkeeper says angrily, "I said we don't have carrots, if you come back again asking, I am gonna screw a nail in your head with a hammer!"

 

 The next day the rabbit comes yet again and asks this time , "Do you have a hammer?" Shopkeeper replies, "NO."

 

Rabbit asks again "What about nails?" Owner says  "NO."

 

Then the rabbit calmly asks, "Do you have carrots?"

 

Moral of the story:

Don't let the devil scare you, he doesn't have anything.

Just pursue your dreams.

RESILIENCE

 

Resilience in fact is THE CHARACTERITIC/attribute to have in all aspects of life.

Often TOLERANCE is confused with resilience.

We are good tolerators.Resilience is ability to WITHSTAND and COUNTER.Tolerance is ABILITY TO ACCEPT.

Resilience is a very very rare quality and is found equally rarely.

It is toughness.

In physics resilience is defined as"the power or ability of a material to return to its original form, position, etc., after being bent, compressed  ;elasticity."     

 Resilience is not a trampoline, where you’re down one moment and up the next. It’s more like climbing a mountain without a trail map.Being resilient does not mean that people don’t experience stress, emotional upheaval, and suffering. Some people equate resilience with mental toughness only, but demonstrating resilience also includes working through emotional pain and suffering.

There is a psychological model of resilience:

The 7 Cs resilience model- was developed by pediatrician Ken Ginsberg, MD, to help children and adolescents build resilience.

Learning competence,

 confidence,

 connection,

 character,

contribution,

coping, and

control

 is how Ginsberg says we can build inner strength and utilize outside resources — regardless of age.

ACK:MULTIPLE .INCLUDING MODEST INPUTS FROM SELF

A PERSPECTIVE ON MISFORTUNE.

 

I hear a lot of why me's and complaints about the global pandemic sweeping the world.

Imagine if you were born in the year 1900. On your 14th birthday, World War I starts, and ends on your 18th birthday. 22 million people perish in that war. Later in the year, a Spanish Flu epidemic hits the planet and runs until your 20th birthday. 50 million people die from it in those two years. On your 29th birthday, the Great Depression begins. Unemployment hits 25%, the World GDP drops 27%. That runs until you are 33. The country nearly collapses along with the world economy. When you turn 39, World War II starts. On your 41st birthday, the United States is fully pulled into WWII. Between your 39th and 45th birthday, 75 million people perish in the war. At 50, the Korean War starts. 5 million perish. At 55 the Vietnam War begins and doesn’t end for 20 years. 4 million people perish in that conflict. On your 62nd birthday you have the Cuban Missile Crisis, a tipping point in the Cold War. When you turn 75, the Vietnam War finally ends.There are many who survived through everything listed above.

And what happened in between?

Donald Bradman happened to cricket .India became independent.They win 8 gold medals consecutively in Olympic hockey,one in Berlin before Adolf Hitler.Talking movies are born.So is television.Airplanes happen.So does Charlie Chaplin.Medical inventions change life forever.Beatles rock the planet.Man goes to moon.And on and on and on.Life rocked and thrived inspire of tragedies.

Life is what happens in between your plans.And perspective is what it teaches us.
Tragedies are in the gene code of the world.
Have perspective.

 

 

:Modified from Anonymous

GENDER DISCRIMINATION,REVERSE GENDER DISCRIMINATION AND THE GENDER CARD :A CLASSIC CONFLICT

 1.None would deny oppression and subjugation of women throughout centuries of existence.From denial of franchise to denial of basic human rights and dignified human existence.This started changing a bit in 70s and picked pace with the new millennium.Then reverse gender discrimination started in urban milieu.From ‘’settling scores’’ via #me too and abuse of IPC provisions to threat of Vishakha guidelines to promulgation of laws(below)a reverse harassment channel got created.That is when terms like GENDER CARD came into existence.See a film like Aitraaz starring Kareena Kapoor and better still see Michael Douglas ,Demi Moore starrer ”Disclosure” based on book of same name by Michael Crichton.

2.As a result sexual harassment or gender discrimination charge became a tool of harassment in the hands of a few rather than a genuine voice of protest against violation of a woman.The movement stood hijacked by the elite few leaving the genuinely harassed women still looking for justice.If you see bottom part  of this write up you will wonder how in earth can a woman get harassed in face of such strong legal structure?

3.But it’s a story of misapplication of law ,non application of law and fuelled by some pampered kids who have a view of women as their property backed up by generations of prejudice and oppression.

4.The tragedy is that culprits by and large remain unpunished,the real victims among women wait in vain for justice ,candle light drawing room vigilante movements by elite, anger men,create the bogey which is sometimes real,of the gender card and posts like these evoke the ire of sometimes genuine and sometimes warped up men who ride on their misplaced perceptions to create a unbridgeable dichotomy.

5.Reverse tragedy which then happened was that men too started abusing the gender card defence by levying the charge even while the woman stood genuinely harassed.This became their warped defence.

6.It became and continues to remain a me too vs gender card war.This,then,is the long and short of it,and TRUTH AND JUSTICE  became the casualties.

7.LAWS FOR PROTECTION OF WOMEN(INDIAN PENAL CODE and Allied Laws)

 

1.S 294 IPC:   SINGING LEWD SONGS AND OBSCENE ACTS DIRECTED AT WOMEN IN PUBLIC SPACE

2.s 354 IPC: ASSAULT OR CRIMINAL FORCE TO WOMAN WITH INTENT TO OUTRAGE HER MODESTY

2A.S 354(A)IPC:THE FAMOUS ‘’NO MEANS NO’’LAW.DEMANDING PHYSICAL FAVORS DESPITE REACTION OF DISINTEREST.ALLIED SECTION 503 THREAT TO HARM.

3.S 354(C)IPC: VOYEURISM & MORPHING PICTURES

4..S 354(D)IPC: STALKING

5.S 509 IPC: WORD ,GESTURE OR ACT INTENDED TO INSULT THE MODESTY OF A WOMAN

6.SEXUAL HARRASMENT FOR WOMEN AT WORKPLACE ACT,2013(POSH ACT).This was the follow up law resulting from "Vishaka and others V. State of Rajasthan and others.(AIR 1997 SC 3011)" 

7.S 67 OF I.T. ACT :HARASSING WOMEN ON DIGITAL MEDIA

 

8.When posts like these are reacted to,one need to see where it is coming from,and why.Men ,on one hand,cannot give up their despicable and hypocritical sense of superiority,and on the other the good ones are either victims of a gender card or too cautious to let their guard down and be themselves.Centuries of subjugation, patriarchal family set up fuels these attitudes .Truth is if you take a balanced view setting aside prejudices on either side,men are ,the weaker sex and the insecure sex.नारी शक्ति भी है और जननी भी।

9.still mamma's boys who haven't shed their mental diaper of fake superiority based solely on physical power.Those of us who are worthy enough should command attention.Rest are to be confined to dustbin of history or shown their place lawfully.

TRUE FRIEND

 

A great story about value of a true friend I read somewhere:

Many years ago, after I got married I was sitting on a couch on a hot, humid day, sipping frozen juice during a visit to my father.

 

As I talked about adult life, marriage, responsibilities, and obligations, my father thoughtfully stirred the ice cubes in his glass and cast a clear, sober look at me.

 

"Never forget your friends," he advised, "they will become more important as you get older."

 

"Regardless of how much you love your family and the children you happen to have, you will always need friends.

 

Remember to go out with them occasionally, do activities with them, call them ..."

 

"What strange advice!" I Thought. "I just entered the married world, I am an adult and surely my wife and the family that we will start will be everything I need to make sense of my life."

 

Yet I obeyed him; Kept in touch with my friends and annually increased their number. Over the years, I became aware that my father knew what he was talking about.

 

In as much as time and nature carry out their designs and mysteries on a man, friends were the bulwarks of his life.

 

After 50 years of life, here is what I learned:

 

Time passes.

Life goes on.

The distance separates.

Children grow up.

 

Children cease to be children and become independent.

 

And to the parents it breaks the heart but the children are separated of the parents.

 

Jobs come and go.

 

Illusions, desires, attraction, sex ... weaken.

 

People do not do what they should do.

 

The heart breaks.

The parents die.

Colleagues forget the favors.

The races are over.

 

When we started this adventure called LIFE, we did not know of the incredible joys or sorrows that were ahead.

But, true friends are always there, no matter how long or how many miles they are.

 

A TRUE friend is never more distant than the reach of a need, barring you, intervening in your favor, waiting for you with open arms or blessing your life.

FORGIVE THE BLAME

 

Everything you blame, you’re stuck with. Bless it. Wish it well. Wish it its own freedom, and it will be very powerful in the way that it will not come back to you. If you don’t forgive it, if you don’t bless it, if you don’t wish it well, the energy will just be magnetically drawn back to you because it’s looking for resolution. All negative energy that we’ve inherited, it’s there because it’s looking for resolution.

—Adyashanti

THE EAGLE FLIES ALONE

 

When I was born the seed was sown

I will not obey, my life is my own

Battle rows, which do enslave me

Exposed lies that enrage me

 

I don't believe in heaven, I don't believe in hell

Never joined the herd, could not adjust well

Slave and master, it's not for me

I choose my own path, set myself free

 

I, I go my own way

I swim against the stream

Forever I will fight the powers that be

The eagle flies alone

 

Reject the system that dictates the norm

This world is full of lies and deceit

I ask my own betrayal, cut so deep

Suffered defeat only to rise again

 

I, I go my own way

I swim against the stream

Forever I will fight the powers that be

 

The eagle flies alone.

 

:Michael Amott

 

The phrase ‘’the eagle flies alone only sheep walk in herds’’is actually a Polish proverb which is an encouragement to be your truest self.Its okay to make your own path and not be regulated by herd mentality.

Destiny and Endeavour

 

_यद्धात्रा निजफालपत्रलिखितम् स्तोकम महद्वा धनम् तत्प्राप्नोति मरुस्थोऽपि नितराम् मेरौ ततो नाधिकम् तद्धीरो भव वित्तवत्सु कॄपनाम वॄत्तिम् वॄथा मा कॄथा: कूपे पश्य पयोनिधावपि घट: प्राप्नोति तुल्यम जलम्_

 

On your forehead, by Brahma written, is your destiny;

 That's what decides if you have little or lots of money;

It matters not whether you seek in a desert or mountain of gold;

Don't kneel and crawl before the rich, don't be pitied, be bold.

 Just watch the water a pail can get from a well or mighty sea;

The source, you go to, makes no difference in a pail's capacity.

 

It is destiny that determines one becomes wealthy or poor. So, it does not matter where you seek wealth. Therefore, do not go begging or acting servile and pitiably with the rich. It does not matter whether you go to a well or the ocean. The amount of water you can gather depends only on the size of your pail. Reference to destiny here does not imply fatalism,. It indicates the observation by the poet that everything in life is not under one's control , and that even after making one's best efforts, what one can attain in life depends on one's own innate capabilities .Hence the reference to a pail's capacity to hold water.

:ANONYMOUS

BEST FRIEND

 

 

The best kind of a friend is the kind in which you can sit on a porch and walk Without saying a word & when you leave it feels it was the best conversation you ever had.

It’s true we don’t know what we have until we find it, but its also true, we don’t know what we’ve been missing until it arrives..

The best future is based on the forgotten past..

:ANAONYMOUS

FLIRTING WITH GREATNESS

 

Flirting with greatness can be a dangerous thing.
We often hear about grand gestures or grandiose commitments.The result is either a fool's delight or empty air.Why?
Because these flirts have neither the commitment of the fanatic nor the cynicism of the pessimist.Solidity of the realist evades them.The result is a imbecility wedded to idiocy.
Halfway houses are not meant to be lived in.They are best left to builders.

AHM BRAHMASMI

 

The Mahavakyas (sing.: महावाक्यम्; plural:  महावाक्यानि)

are "The Great Sayings" of the Upanishads, as characterized by the Advaita school of Vedanta. Most commonly, Mahavakyas are considered four in number,

 

 

1.     Prajnanam Brahma (प्रज्ञानम् ब्रह्म) - "Insight is Brahman," or "Brahman is insight" (Aitareya Upanishad 3.3 of the Rig Veda)

 

 

2.    Ayam Atma Brahma (अयम् आत्मा ब्रह्म) - "This Self (Atman) is Brahman" (Mandukya Upanishad 1.2 of the Atharva Veda)

 

 

3.    Tat Tvam Asi (तत् त्वम् असि) - "That essence (tat, referring to sat, "the Existent") are you" (Chandogya Upanishad 6.8.7 of the Sama Veda)

 

 

4.  Aham Brahmasmi (अहम् ब्रह्मास्मि) - "I am (part of) Brahman" मैं ब्रह्स्वरुप हूँ (Brihadaranyaka Upanishad 1.4.10 of the Yajur Veda)

 

                        HUXLEY HAS DEFNED IT AS ‘’I AM THE DIVINE FLAME’’.

STAND AND STARE

 

What is this life if, full of care,

We have no time to stand and stare.

No time to stand beneath the boughs
And stare as long as sheep or cows.

No time to see, when woods we pass,
Where squirrels hide their nuts in grass.

No time to see, in broad daylight,
Streams full of stars, like skies at night.

No time to turn at Beauty's glance,
And watch her feet, how they can dance.

No time to wait till her mouth can
Enrich that smile her eyes began.

A poor life this if, full of care,
We have no time to stand and stare.

 

WH Davies

SISU PART 2

 

The World Happiness Report is an annual publication of the United Nations Sustainable Development Solutions Network. In July 2011, the UN General Assembly adopted resolution 65/309 Happiness: Towards a Holistic Definition of Development inviting member countries to measure the happiness of their people and to use the data to help guide public policy.

As of March 2020, Finland was ranked the happiest country in the world three times in a row.

I wondered why?

I got an answer which should be an eye opener to many.It lay in Finnish Art Of Life called ‘sisu’.Way back in January of 1940, the opening paragraph of a full-spread piece in the New York Times headline read, “Sisu: A word that explains Finland.”

Etymologically, “sisu” comes from a Finnish root word that implies “inner” or “inside.” This is one reason it is sometimes translated as “guts” or “inner strength.”

It can refer to “stoic determination, hardiness, courage, bravery, willpower, tenacity and resilience.” It’s “an action-oriented mindset.” You don’t brag about having sisu; you just “let your actions do the talking.” [Joanna Nylund  Sisu: The Finnish Art of Courage (2018, UK: Gaia; USA: Running Press).]

It comes into play when you tackle challenges such as fighting a war in the cold of winter, which is exactly what Finland was doing when the Times published its article, but it can also help you confront more common obstacles.

The Nylund book includes, at regular intervals, tips for how to incorporate a sisu-like attitude into your own life:

“Top tips to help you recharge:

1. Truly disconnect,

 2. Embrace the silence,

 3. Schedule alone time.”

To me,in a single word ,sisu is about RESILIENCE in the face of mightiest odds.

A great way to tackle and win life.

OUT OF THE BOX

 

STORY I READ SOMEWHERE

 

An engineer in a car manufacturing company designs a world class car.

 

While trying to bring out the car from the manufacturing area to the showroom, they realised that the car is few inches taller than the entrance.

 

The engineer felt bad that he didn't notice this one before creating the car.

 

The painter said that they can bring out the car and there will be a few scratches on top of the car which could be touched up later.

 

The engineer said that they can break the entrance, take the car out, and later re-do it.

 

A Watchman was observing & remarked "The car is only a few inches taller than the entrance so,Simply release the air in the tyre, the height of the car will sink and can be easily taken out.

 

 

LESSON

 

Don't see problems from an expert's point of view.

There is always a layman's outlook that gives an alternate solution.

 

Life issues are also same.

Release some air (anger) and adjust the height(disappointment). And stay happy always without conflicts.

 

Think Simple.Live Humble.