WHAT IS MENTORING?

 

 

       

1.Mentoring is to support and encourage people to manage their own learning in order that they may maximise their potential, develop their skills, and become the person they want to be.

2.It is neither training ,nor coaching.Its way way bigger.

JUST like a teacher is not a guru.GURU transcends teacher.Teaching is about training.Guru and mentor are about education.

3.Mentors are just two  basic types-job mentor and life mentor.Ideally both should be one.Else may be two.

Example:

Professional:P.Gopichand-PV Sindhu

Life:the film ‘’Dear Zindagi’’

 

4.Mentoring is about wisdom.It is about sharing life.Its about unqualified commitment and loyalty.Its about asking and sharing anything and everything under the sun.Its about discipline.About commitment.About analysis.About awareness.About objectivity. Its about fearless and defenceless sharing and caring.

 

4.1 A mentor is not about tips and tricks.Which is what professional mentoring is confused with.What the so called mentee wants now a days is a set of monetisable tips and tricks.But that is trickery and training.Not mentoring.At best these people are guides only.If I teach you about basics or nuances of a job or solve your teething problems therein I do not become a guru or a mentor.I am a guide.

4.2To recognize a genuine mentor is really simple.He will answer all the whys with verifiable evidence and illustrations which can’t be refuted.Wisdom,intelligence,awareness,commitment,availability,analytical,experience,sincereity,fearless ,education,and above all INTEGRITY AND CHARACTER ....That is a mentor.

5.Loyal,committed,fearless,faithful,true,hardworking,intelligent,biaslessness,no hypocrisy,no manipulation,....That’s a mentee.Someone who is willing to question the very roots of his or her existence,methods and values .That’s a mentee.

6.It cannot be a relation of convenience.It is not transactional.Its not seeking a book of questions and answers.Its about shared passion to understand and master life and/job.Its not just about knowledge.Its about understanding.Its first questioning the answers.Then it’s questioning the questions.

6.1 You must be in full sync.And at total ease.Till you can bare your soul and speak and face most uncomfortable truths about self,go into darkest recesses of your heart and mind,the goal will elude you.In job terms ,understanding the innermost theoretical constructs,practical applications,mastering them and commanding them.

Its about passion to understand whys.Its not just about goals.Its about dreams.Its about self actualization.It is about life.

7.Difficult to remember?Too complicated?

Ok.

In a single line.

A mentor is “a friend,philosopher and guide.”.

8.Three important issues beckon.

 The first is why the three-dimensional axis:friend,philosopher and guide?What justifies their existence?

8.1 To me,mentorship involves three vital components:

1.Psychological/emotional.

2.Practical/skillset

3.Principle/valueset

Let’s put my components here:

1.        Psychological: FRIEND

2.       Practical: GUIDE

3.       Principle(s): PHILOSOPHER

 

9.The second issue is why is it that a childhood friend or a relation like a cousin or a sibling or parent can’t be a mentor?They can.In theory.

9.1 But there is one unsurmountable obstacle in an overwhelming number of cases-THEY KNOW YOU-and worse still-THEY THINK THEY KNOW YOU.That creates an issue-there are positive and negative biases and prejudices which come in play.

9.2 An outsider MENTOR comes without baggage.He has no predispositions.That creates objectivity.Which is so vital to mentoring.

10.And finally-what is the Prognosis?-where does it all go/end?See where" Dear Zindagi",the film, ends.When the mentee becomes independent.Now virtually a mentor himself/herself.

10.1 It is a relationship to create INDEPENDENCE .Mentoring is not a medicine-you have it,you succeed and you keep on having it.Its about not having any medicine at all.Its not a set of tips and tricks.Its not a "how to"book though it includes it.

11.Life is about actualizing self.Thats what a mentor or a guru helps you to do.

Being the best that you can be.

12.Its not merely winning .It transcends  material mundaneness or spiritual aloofness.

It is celebration of life.